There's a weakness, in the window. I place my footprints, in the dark room

you know i really wish i could fall asleep. but i cant on account of my hip is keeping me conscious. this is what, 5 nights now of no sleep.

brilliant.

i figured out how to make the deli better. better as in gross profit and sales and junk like that. we need to fire 2 of the people there, move susie-Q to a different department, and hire 4 people that work like i do, and put into effect a system of structure. steve and teri are nice people, but they dont do a damn thing back there. they always leave early, most of the time leaving their messes behind or not finishing what they should. and everyday i have to spend at least 30 minutes cleaning said messes and finishing said projects so that i can start my shift of hell. susie-Q is the sweetest lady ever, but she's too burned out for the deli. i hate to say that, because she's worked back there for 14 years. but she's not capable of handling it. she gets flustered too easily, mostly by steve, and then is no good for the rest of the day. finding 4 people who work as hard as i do, have my dedication and willingness to do anything to make that deli the best department is going to be hard. i think eventually i'll just clone myself. and finally this system of structure i am developing is something im taking from my old boss kim, from rockabelly's. she had a list of shift duties for everyone. the opener had his list, the 8 - 5 or whatever had theirs and so on. everything will be divided amongst all who work that day evenly. sounds simple enough. but for some reason nobody does anything to help anyone else. and i am left with everything at the end of the night. donna, my manager is overworked and stressed out all the time. mike bubon the so called deli manager is an idiot and doesn't listen to us.
oh, you want to know why my hip hurts so bad?
well our refrigerated case that displays our meat leaks. on the side we stand. our store director wont pay to have it fixed, it isn't a problem for our customers so its fine. so we put towels down to soak up the water that continuously leaks throughout the day. theres not much room back there and i am always racing around back there trying to get things done and have slipped several times. another thing he wont pay to have fixed is one our refrigerated cabinets we have in our little island that we used to keep our extra sliced cheeses. now we have to keep them in our back cooler. on a usual night in our busiest time it takes me at least 2 minutes to run back to get cheese because i've run out up front. thats 2 minutes my customer doesn't want to wait so they say, no dont worry about it, i'll just get cheese from the wall. thats a lost sale. we are the worst department in the entire store. i wonder why.
and if thats not bad enough, 90% of the customers who come in are the rudest people. they have no sense of respect for anyone. it is the saddest 8 hours of my day.
i dont understand why people find it hard to be happy. and why they find the need to make others feel just as horrible as they do. i do everything possible to make people happy. i figure if i can make at least one person smile each day, then its a good day. someday i will be able to record my music. my music is going to make people happy. and i am going to do my part in changing the world.
ok i need your creative ideas people. i want to re-propose to kristina. mom is sending me some diamonds from an old ring and im going to see how much it would be to have them put in a ring. i want to plan something really unique and ooey gooey romantic. because im a complete hopeless romantic. if you have any cool ideas let me know.
i think im going to clean the bathroom. we've started cleaning the house again. im slowly working on getting the bathroom done. im cleaning the cigarette smoke residue from all the walls and tile. then i will spackle the holes and cracks. then sand, then paint. its going to be a teal blue. an ocean for kristina. im turning into my mother. its awesome.
im so excited for this coming monday. kristina and i are going to drive up to okaboji lake for a night. its one of 7 blue lakes on the earth. and its only 3 hours away. hell yeah.
so things between kristina and i are going really good. i kinda messed up a little, but we're doing good.
i have a ghost in my house. possibly two. more on that subject when i've gathered more info.
perhaps i will try and fall asleep. in 3 hours my alarm will be going off trying to awaken me to begin cleaning out the basement. drat.
well goodnight world. see you tomorrow.